heartbeat, a little too fast, and how we cope

My heart’s going full-throttle like a middle school drummer on a trap set, possibly because

  • I just downed two cups of strong coffee.
  • someone by my name (maybe with my credit card) just bought thirteen books on Amazon.com. Is this an addiction, or just life? Examine the signs – shaky hands and rapid breathing. Check my book list. Notice I bought four books that were not on the book list. Settle down and accept that I have a book addiction. Hello, my name is Brooke…
  • according to my calculations, I have 22 books to read before December besides assigned school reading in order to successfully finish the Hope College Honors English Program. Call me crazy. Will you hold my hand?
  •  it’s Friday, August 17, and I leave for school on Monday, August 20.

Back-to-school time always sends me into spinning circles of frenzy, accompanied with extra coffee sloshing out of the cup and wide, crazed eyes. It’s too simplistic to say going back to school makes me nervous. Going back to school makes me

happy, melancholy, eager, nostalgic, joyous, crabby, sad, anxious, frenzied, psycho, sleepless.

And hungry. Everything makes me hungry. Is it lunch time yet?

This is just me. I’m planning.

We cope with trap set heart attacks by getting organized – with lists, and clean, happy email inboxes, and synced electronics, and Excel spreadsheets (those don’t make us happy until they’re finished… nobody likes those, really, except Alex, and he’s just weird).

welcome to my semester. English majors get to go crazy with book shopping.

We cope with back-to-school stress with prayer, and with these words: all shall be well, and it is well with my soul, and the Lord is God, and I have come to give you life to the fullest, and I will never leave you, and do not fear.

We cope with happy memories of a long, happy summer. We go back to our iPhoto libraries, and look at our Disneyland smiles, and remember the goodness of the Lord, how he is present always, in our past and in our future.



This is being alive – because our hearts are always beating wild,

and our God is faithful,

and as my mother says,

don’t worry, everything will be okay.


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